Being back to work, I miss spending the entire day with Zoey. The worst part is even when I am home, there is something I should be doing. I want to be productive, and looked upon as a reliable and indispensable person...but at times, I feel as though I have taken on a little too much. I have a full time job, work with the Relief Society at church, volunteer for the YMCA, am planning Youth Conference, and being a mom/ taking care of our home on top of that.
Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. I know there are plenty of women who do even more than me, but that's just not who I am. I enjoy spending time relaxing. I like to have fun. I just feel like I have a dozen balls up in the air, and desperately trying to keep them from dropping. I constantly have the feeling that I'm not giving any area of my life 100%. And the feeling is stressing me out. I want to have time to make dinner for my husband. Actually finish laundry. Update my crafting blog. Instead I am buying frozen dinners from Trader Joe's (Which aren't too bad actually...), pulling dirty laundry out of a pile to wear again, and forgetting my craft blog even exists.
The other day, I literally dragged Zoey from one place to another from 6:00 in the morning until 8:30 at night. She napped in her carseat, and thankfully she has an amazing home to go to while I am at work, but I still felt like I was letting her down. And like I said before, when you are trying to keep all the balls in the air, something will drop, which is why I wasn't surprised when I left my phone AND keys at the Blue and Gold Banquet that night.
I love being a mom. Zoey is one of the most amazing parts of life right now. I love her smiles and the fact that she is grabbing onto things now. I love when she hugs her stuffed animals and tries to suffocate them with her mouth. I just wish I could take a break from everything else in life. Give me time to spend with Derek and Zoey without worrying about working or raising money or planning Youth Conference or writing a weekly email for Relief Society. I need to start saying "no"... if only to keep my sanity.
3 comments:
I do WAY less than what you do and still feel like I'm juggling everything and out of control. Being a mother can be consuming enough. Sometimes it helps if I schedule some break time... meaning time that you can just play with those you love away from the laundry that needs done and the millions of other responsibilities that are calling you. Make a point not to think about those other things. Take a day off or wait until a Saturday and go to the park for a few hours (on a nice day) and just love on Zoey and/or your hubby and then go home and take a nap with them!
Zoey will only be a baby once! Enjoy the craziness while you can!
I think I've found that life comes in waves for me. There are times when I feel like I'm up to my eyeballs in stuff that needs my attention and then a few deadlines pass and life slows down a little. The crazy times don't last forever. And there are those blissful moments that I can't remember a single pressing thing that has to be done that day and instead of worrying that I'm forgetting something I decide to have a dance party with the kids or lay down and read the newspaper.
If nothing else, you do have one amazingly cute little girl. Thanks for sharing her with us!
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