Five Years Later

Six years ago, Derek and I had just started dating, and had just moved down to Zion National Park to work at a resort there. After a few days of working, he got pretty sick. Raging fevers, extreme exhaustion and nausea for weeks on end. While all of our friends were out doing fun things, I was by Derek's bed, keeping cold rags on his head, medicine flowing, and keeping him company. It made me seriously evaluate our relationship - whether or not I could stand by him through sickness and health. The more I took care of him, the stronger my feelings got, and when he finally started to get better, we were closer than ever. Despite my feelings for Derek, that summer was hard. Being with each other ALL the time was hard. Working together was hard. Learning how to communicate was hard. There were times I was unsure  of our future - would I get tired of spending time with him? Would we get mad over dumb things? What would our kids be like?

That summer he proposed, and while I was scared of what the future held, I sad yes. 

When we got married, we had no idea what we were doing. Sometimes I felt like we were playing house. Truth be told, sometimes I still feel like we are.

I look back to before we got married, and I was so nervous - I wanted to know how everything would turn out. I felt like I was jumping into a big unknown. Would we have enough money to survive? Would Derek find a job? Where would we live? Would our kids be crazy? Would Derek be a good dad? I had so many questions, and not much to go on. It was scary, but I made a leap of faith

Five years later, I am so thankful I made that leap of faith. While I don't know all life has in store for us, I do know this - When I married Derek, I married my best friend, and that is the best decision I could have ever made. We've traveled together, and worked together, and have had so much fun together. We may not have always had a lot, but we made it through, and we loved every minute of it.

And now with Zoey...well, it makes me all the more grateful for that leap of faith. She is the most perfect little girl, and I feel so blessed and happy to have her in our family. I love being a mom. More than I could have imagined. Sure, it's a lot of work, but it is easy when you are so in love with that baby.

So now we are at a crossroads of life. Derek is going to start his MBA program at William and Mary in a few months, meaning we are going to pack up and move across the country. From Pacific to Atlantic. And while I am excited, I am also incredibly sad. We have made AMAZING friends here in Washington. Some of the best friends I've ever had. Friends I feel like I can be myself with, and don't have to impress or ever justify myself to. They love me and my husband and my daughter without expecting anything in return, and that means the world to me. They are my family here. My mom friends, my visiting teachers, my ward sisters, and my coworkers. They have been such a support to both me and my family, and I have grown so much having had them in my life.

It's going to be a leap. Jumping into the unknown. I don't know what the next 5 years are going to be like. I know that I will have my husband and daughter with me. I will have the Church and I will have the Gospel to guide me. Hopefully once Derek finishes his MBA, he will be able to support our family without me working. That's my prayer. To be able to stay at home with my kids and take care of our home. That's why I'm willing to take the leap of faith. Something better is around the corner, and I have to just let go and embrace it. The next 2 years will be challenging at best, but I'm ready to take it on. And I'm excited.

So it's been 5 years since I married Derek, and life has changed so much. I can't wait to see where the next 5 takes us.