Second Child Syndrome

Sometimes being a mom feels like a breeze. Your kids give you kisses and cuddles, and make you feel on top of the world. Sometimes being a mom feels like the dumps. Lately, I've been going back and forth between the two. 

Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for my kids. I love them. But let's be honest, sometimes kids suck. That sounds terrible....I'll edit that...sometimes they KINDA suck. There. That's better. 

See, there is first child motherhood, and then there is second child motherhood. I hear there's 3rd and 4th child motherhood, but I haven't quite gotten there yet. Second child motherhood has me pulling the reins back on joining those "motherhood" milestones. Man, "first child" Cami....you were the shiz. Never missing library story time like a boss. Making healthy snacks like a boss. Having an unnatural amount of patience like a MO FO BOSS!!! Life was fun and fancy and free, and obviously my child's sweet carefree nature was a direct result of my superior parenting skills. Because, like I said, "first child" Cami; you were the shiz. 

Then there is "second child" Cami. Second child Cami's mantra is "just keep them alive" cause, you know...alive is good. See, deep down, I assumed that my first child...my wonderful easy going child...was wonderful and easygoing as a result of me. But then. THEN the Lord blessed me with a second child that flushed that idea right down the crapper. Zoey and Abbey are like the sun and the moon. Zoey is easygoing, Abbey is almost impossible to please. Zoey is usually happy, Abbey is usually crabby. Zoey is quick to forgive, Abbey is quick to temper. Zoey is a giver, Abbey is a taker. Zoey follows rules, Abbey breaks them. They are as different as can be and it is HARD! 

I feel in the thick of second child mothering right now. Things that worked for Zoey have no affect on Abbey. Abbey is stubborn and hard hard hard. She screams and pulls hair and bites and throws things when she doesn't get her way. Grocery shopping involve meltdowns and trying to dive headfirst out of the cart and so many tears (sometimes mine). At home, she won't cuddle and life is a big guessing game about what she wants (you become keenly aware of how many boxes are in your pantry as you present them to a mini dictator who wants a snack, but not THAT SNACK ::cue throwing box onto the floor and screaming::). And she is busy. SO busy. She can get into the toilet, empty the garbage can, find scissors, knock juice all over the carpet, and manage to rip up Zoey's art projects all in the space of 3 minutes. It is EXHAUSTING. There are days where she is sweet, and I soak in every drop of those days. And there are days where I feel like I am going to go insane... I'll let you guess what today is. 

So that's where I'm at. I love being a mom. But it's hard. The thought of having 3 kids someday makes me super nervous. What if the 3rd one is as hard as the 2nd one... what if they are harder??? 

Right now, I am taking solace in the fact that I am a potential bone marrow match for someone on the bone marrow registry...and as a result, I am not supposed to get pregnant until the process is done (either they find someone who is a better match than me, or I do the procedure in the next 2-5 months). That seems like a pretty legit reason to delay pregnancy, right?! Hopefully by that time, life is a little easier....