Riley Paige Struiksma was born on Thursday July 6th at 11:18 am. She weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces, and was nearly 20 inches long. She came into the world alert and happy, and so far has been a pretty easy going baby. We feel so lucky to have such a sweet baby, and the other two girls absolutely love their new sister. It's difficult to keep them from completely mauling her.
I wanted to take time to record Riley's birth story before the details become foggy in my memory.
When I first found out I was pregnant with Riley, I really wanted a different birth experience than I had with Abbey. Abbey was born in Williamsburg where there was really only one OBGYN practice. The practice had so many patients that most doctor visits only lasted a couple minutes; enough time for them to take the baby's heart rate and measure my stomach. I couldn't even tell you the name of the doctor who delivered Abbey. Recovery was long and drawn out, and I was in pain for weeks. So when I found out I was pregnant again, I naturally wanted something different. I decided to go with a Midwife, which ultimately meant an unmedicated birth.
Wednesday started off pretty normal. The day before was the 4th of July, and while I was a tiny bit disappointed that she didn't come (she could have been our 2nd holiday baby!!), I did end up losing my mucus plug that night, so I knew labor was around the corner. Grace (my mother in law) and I spent a good amount of time on Wednesday walking around Sam's club to get things moving along. Overall the day was pretty uneventful until that evening. Around 7 pm, I started having regular contractions! I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions all week, but these were different - they were painful and regular. I started timing them, and once they were about 10 minutes apart, I gave our Doula a call to give her a heads up. I had been super nervous about doing birth without medication (because let's be honest, I am not at all a "crunchy" mom and I didn't have a real reason to have an unmedicated birth other than I wanted to be with the midwives and I wanted to see what natural birth was like), so I found a Doula through VCU who provided free services as long as I allowed a student doula to also be present. She told me to keep her in the loop and to let her know if the contractions continued to pick up. Around 8 pm, my amazing friends, Aleeta and Amanda came over to help me pass the time before heading into the hospital. Aleeta graciously volunteered to spend the night at my house so I wouldn't have to worry about dropping my kids off somewhere on the way the the hospital.
Around 11pm, I realized it was going to be a long night so I decided to get a little bit of sleep before heading into the hospital. Although the contractions were painful, one of my talents is being able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat, so I spent the next hour sleeping between contractions. The contractions slowed from every 6 minutes to every 15-20 minutes. I woke up around midnight thinking it may have just been a false alarm seeing as things had slowed down significantly. As soon as I got out of bed, the contractions ramped back up, and I immediately went from having them every 15-20 minutes to having one every 2-3 minutes. I spent a little over an hour timing, just to be sure, and at 1:30am Derek, Grace and I headed into the hospital.
I should mention that throughout the night, I had been trying to get a hold of my birth Doula, but she hadn't responded since our first conversation at 7 pm. I was nervous that she wasn't getting my messages, and wouldn't be at the hospital. I had Derek and Grace there, but I was really relying on the Doula being there to help me through the process.
We got to the hospital a little after 2am, and were able to park and make it up to Labor and Delivery fairly easy. They had already prepared a room for me, and I was able to go to the room immediately. One of the reasons I chose VCU to deliver our baby was how much like a birth center the hospital was. I was able to wear my own clothes, forgo an IV (Hallelujah!), bring a stereo, hang Christmas lights, and labor however I wanted.
When I got to the hospital, I was dilated to a 4. Contractions were painful, but as long as Grace, Derek, or my midwife were pushing my hips, I was able to get through each one with relative ease. I cracked jokes between contractions and used the birth ball as well as swaying to help ease the pain. I felt "in control" and kind of bad-ass for being able to handle the pain so well. After an hour, the pain had become quite a bit more intense, so I switched it up and got into the shower. There was a bench in the shower along with a bar attached to the wall. During each contraction, I sat on the bench with my feet against the wall, pulling on the bar and moaning a low and loud continuous note. I read in a birth book that the wider you open your jaw, the quicker your cervix will open...I don't know if it worked, but it helped me get into a rhythm and it gave me something to focus on. The hotter the water was, the easier contractions felt, so I kept the water as hot as it went. I spent a good 3 hours in the shower. Derek and his mom took turns resting, but mainly left me alone since I needed my concentration and I didn't want anyone touching me.
Once contractions were bad enough that the shower no longer helped, I moved to the tub. I'm telling you, the tub was amazing. It was deep enough that I could have water almost up to my shoulders, it had jets, and it lit up different colors (which may sound silly, but it was really calming). I had been having really intense back labor, and it was nice to have warm water surrounding me. With each contraction, my (AMAZING) midwife would spray hot water on my back. It took the edge off the pain enough for me to endure it.
Around 7 in the morning, 5 hours after getting to the hospital, I finally heard back from the doula. There had been a family Emergency, and she had been at another hospital all night long. She sounded exhausted and stressed, so I told her not to worry about it, and to go home and rest. I had originally wanted a doula because I was scared, and nervous. However, after being in labor for 12 hours, I felt like I was handling the pain, and I had such amazing support from Grace, Derek, my nurse and the midwife. There was positivity all around me, and despite my exhaustion, I felt like I could do it.
After hearing from the Doula, I had the midwife check me for dialation. In the 5 hours I had been at the hospital, I had only gone from a 4 to a 6.5. I was disheartened. I was so exhausted, and I felt like labor would never end. In my head, I set an arbitrary time of 16 hours for labor. I asked the time every few minutes, because I needed to know how much time had passed and how much closer I was to the 16 hour point. I didn't know what I would do if I went past 16 hours, but I became obsessed with making it to 16 hours.
At this point, my midwife made me get out of the tub for at least 5 contractions to possibly speed things along. I'm not going to lie, they were awful. The back labor was worse than ever, and without someone spraying my back with hot water, the contractions felt unbearable. She finally let me get back in the tub as long as I would squat in the water and use the bar to sway back and forth during the contractions. The thought of changing up my routine was terrifying, but I quickly realized that swaying helped manage the pain.
Derek, Grace, the midwife and nurse switched off between sprayer duty and "throw up bag" duty. After another 3 hours, I had my midwife check me again (I was at the 16 hour mark!), and I had gone from a 6.5 to a 7 - talk about discouraging! I had been banking on labor lasting 16 hours, and I didn't know how much longer I could take the pain. At this point, she suggested that breaking my water. She said it would make contractions more intense, but it would also speed things along. It took me a minute to decide, because although being done with labor sounded amazing, I couldn't imagine being in more pain than I was at that moment. In the end, I had her break my water.
After my water was broken, the contractions became unbearable, and for the first time in labor, I was terrified. I just wanted it to be over, and I didn't know how I could endure any more pain. I tried to tell myself that it would be over soon, but I was panicked. What I didn't realize at the time was I was going through transition - the hardest part of labor. I wanted the midwife to give me Nitrous Oxide, but after finding out I would have to get out of the tub, I decided to stay put. At that point, I even asked for some Tylenol...she didn't think Tylenol would help.
About 30 minutes after the midwife broke my water, I started to feel a little "pushy". My midwife got me out of the tub and went right to work setting up the birth stool, hot rags, towels, and tools needed for delivery. In 30 minutes I had gone from a 7 to a 10, and was ready to push this baby out. One thing I didn't realize before being in labor was that when pushing, the contractions would continue, and be every bit as intense as they were before... For some reason in my mind, the pain would mainly come from pushing the baby out, but I forgot that I would also have contractions during that pushing phase. So essentially, the pain would double up. I didn't push very hard at first, because the harder I pushed, the worse the contractions felt. After a few contractions, I realized, I could be a whimp and continue to be in labor or I could push through it and meet the baby. So I went for it. It took 5 minutes to push that baby out. When Riley came out, the midwife was surprised to find out she was both sunny side up with the cord was wrapped around her neck twice. She easily unwrapped the cord, and let me "catch" the baby and pull her onto my chest. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. She was beautiful and perfect. She cried right away. Derek cried. Grace cried. I cried. While it was painful, she was absolutely worth it. The feeling in the room was peaceful and calm and amazing. Riley was amazing. She nursed right away, and was so alert!
Immediately after she was born, I lost a lot of blood. It was a little disconcerting to see how much blood I was losing. To combat it, the nurse quickly gave me a shot of Pitocin in my thigh, which stopped the bleeding almost immediately. It made me glad I delivered in the hospital, because while it wasn't a major complication, it was comforting to know that they had everything ready to help me if it had been. After delivering the placenta, the midwife took time to educate us about how it worked, where the baby was, and the different layers of the amniotic sac. It was pretty amazing.
Because I had lost a lot of blood after delivery, I was pretty shaky and weak. I was hoping to be right back on my feet and to feel amazing, but it took until the next day for me to regain my strength. It was amazing though how much easier recovery was with this birth. Not only did I not tear (like I did with Zoey and Abbey), but I felt 80% normal by the next day. After 24 hours, we were able to take Riley home.
So that's Riley's birth story! I feel so proud of myself that I was able to deliver Riley without medication. It was empowering, and an experience I will remember for the rest of my life. I am so grateful for the support I had from Derek and Grace and my midwives and nurses. There was so much love and support throughout the delivery, and being able to follow my own instincts felt pretty amazing.
Would I do it again?
If you had asked me that question a couple days after delivery, I may have said no. But the further I get from the experience, the less I remember the pain, and the more I remember the calm and peaceful feeling of the room and the people there. It was such a sacred experience, and while it was the hardest thing I've ever done, it was also one of the most amazing. So while we are done having kids (3 is enough for me!), if I were to get pregnant again, I think I would deliver naturally.
Wednesday started off pretty normal. The day before was the 4th of July, and while I was a tiny bit disappointed that she didn't come (she could have been our 2nd holiday baby!!), I did end up losing my mucus plug that night, so I knew labor was around the corner. Grace (my mother in law) and I spent a good amount of time on Wednesday walking around Sam's club to get things moving along. Overall the day was pretty uneventful until that evening. Around 7 pm, I started having regular contractions! I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions all week, but these were different - they were painful and regular. I started timing them, and once they were about 10 minutes apart, I gave our Doula a call to give her a heads up. I had been super nervous about doing birth without medication (because let's be honest, I am not at all a "crunchy" mom and I didn't have a real reason to have an unmedicated birth other than I wanted to be with the midwives and I wanted to see what natural birth was like), so I found a Doula through VCU who provided free services as long as I allowed a student doula to also be present. She told me to keep her in the loop and to let her know if the contractions continued to pick up. Around 8 pm, my amazing friends, Aleeta and Amanda came over to help me pass the time before heading into the hospital. Aleeta graciously volunteered to spend the night at my house so I wouldn't have to worry about dropping my kids off somewhere on the way the the hospital.
Around 11pm, I realized it was going to be a long night so I decided to get a little bit of sleep before heading into the hospital. Although the contractions were painful, one of my talents is being able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat, so I spent the next hour sleeping between contractions. The contractions slowed from every 6 minutes to every 15-20 minutes. I woke up around midnight thinking it may have just been a false alarm seeing as things had slowed down significantly. As soon as I got out of bed, the contractions ramped back up, and I immediately went from having them every 15-20 minutes to having one every 2-3 minutes. I spent a little over an hour timing, just to be sure, and at 1:30am Derek, Grace and I headed into the hospital.
I should mention that throughout the night, I had been trying to get a hold of my birth Doula, but she hadn't responded since our first conversation at 7 pm. I was nervous that she wasn't getting my messages, and wouldn't be at the hospital. I had Derek and Grace there, but I was really relying on the Doula being there to help me through the process.
When I got to the hospital, I was dilated to a 4. Contractions were painful, but as long as Grace, Derek, or my midwife were pushing my hips, I was able to get through each one with relative ease. I cracked jokes between contractions and used the birth ball as well as swaying to help ease the pain. I felt "in control" and kind of bad-ass for being able to handle the pain so well. After an hour, the pain had become quite a bit more intense, so I switched it up and got into the shower. There was a bench in the shower along with a bar attached to the wall. During each contraction, I sat on the bench with my feet against the wall, pulling on the bar and moaning a low and loud continuous note. I read in a birth book that the wider you open your jaw, the quicker your cervix will open...I don't know if it worked, but it helped me get into a rhythm and it gave me something to focus on. The hotter the water was, the easier contractions felt, so I kept the water as hot as it went. I spent a good 3 hours in the shower. Derek and his mom took turns resting, but mainly left me alone since I needed my concentration and I didn't want anyone touching me.
Once contractions were bad enough that the shower no longer helped, I moved to the tub. I'm telling you, the tub was amazing. It was deep enough that I could have water almost up to my shoulders, it had jets, and it lit up different colors (which may sound silly, but it was really calming). I had been having really intense back labor, and it was nice to have warm water surrounding me. With each contraction, my (AMAZING) midwife would spray hot water on my back. It took the edge off the pain enough for me to endure it.
Around 7 in the morning, 5 hours after getting to the hospital, I finally heard back from the doula. There had been a family Emergency, and she had been at another hospital all night long. She sounded exhausted and stressed, so I told her not to worry about it, and to go home and rest. I had originally wanted a doula because I was scared, and nervous. However, after being in labor for 12 hours, I felt like I was handling the pain, and I had such amazing support from Grace, Derek, my nurse and the midwife. There was positivity all around me, and despite my exhaustion, I felt like I could do it.
After hearing from the Doula, I had the midwife check me for dialation. In the 5 hours I had been at the hospital, I had only gone from a 4 to a 6.5. I was disheartened. I was so exhausted, and I felt like labor would never end. In my head, I set an arbitrary time of 16 hours for labor. I asked the time every few minutes, because I needed to know how much time had passed and how much closer I was to the 16 hour point. I didn't know what I would do if I went past 16 hours, but I became obsessed with making it to 16 hours.
At this point, my midwife made me get out of the tub for at least 5 contractions to possibly speed things along. I'm not going to lie, they were awful. The back labor was worse than ever, and without someone spraying my back with hot water, the contractions felt unbearable. She finally let me get back in the tub as long as I would squat in the water and use the bar to sway back and forth during the contractions. The thought of changing up my routine was terrifying, but I quickly realized that swaying helped manage the pain.
Derek, Grace, the midwife and nurse switched off between sprayer duty and "throw up bag" duty. After another 3 hours, I had my midwife check me again (I was at the 16 hour mark!), and I had gone from a 6.5 to a 7 - talk about discouraging! I had been banking on labor lasting 16 hours, and I didn't know how much longer I could take the pain. At this point, she suggested that breaking my water. She said it would make contractions more intense, but it would also speed things along. It took me a minute to decide, because although being done with labor sounded amazing, I couldn't imagine being in more pain than I was at that moment. In the end, I had her break my water.
After my water was broken, the contractions became unbearable, and for the first time in labor, I was terrified. I just wanted it to be over, and I didn't know how I could endure any more pain. I tried to tell myself that it would be over soon, but I was panicked. What I didn't realize at the time was I was going through transition - the hardest part of labor. I wanted the midwife to give me Nitrous Oxide, but after finding out I would have to get out of the tub, I decided to stay put. At that point, I even asked for some Tylenol...she didn't think Tylenol would help.
About 30 minutes after the midwife broke my water, I started to feel a little "pushy". My midwife got me out of the tub and went right to work setting up the birth stool, hot rags, towels, and tools needed for delivery. In 30 minutes I had gone from a 7 to a 10, and was ready to push this baby out. One thing I didn't realize before being in labor was that when pushing, the contractions would continue, and be every bit as intense as they were before... For some reason in my mind, the pain would mainly come from pushing the baby out, but I forgot that I would also have contractions during that pushing phase. So essentially, the pain would double up. I didn't push very hard at first, because the harder I pushed, the worse the contractions felt. After a few contractions, I realized, I could be a whimp and continue to be in labor or I could push through it and meet the baby. So I went for it. It took 5 minutes to push that baby out. When Riley came out, the midwife was surprised to find out she was both sunny side up with the cord was wrapped around her neck twice. She easily unwrapped the cord, and let me "catch" the baby and pull her onto my chest. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. She was beautiful and perfect. She cried right away. Derek cried. Grace cried. I cried. While it was painful, she was absolutely worth it. The feeling in the room was peaceful and calm and amazing. Riley was amazing. She nursed right away, and was so alert!
Immediately after she was born, I lost a lot of blood. It was a little disconcerting to see how much blood I was losing. To combat it, the nurse quickly gave me a shot of Pitocin in my thigh, which stopped the bleeding almost immediately. It made me glad I delivered in the hospital, because while it wasn't a major complication, it was comforting to know that they had everything ready to help me if it had been. After delivering the placenta, the midwife took time to educate us about how it worked, where the baby was, and the different layers of the amniotic sac. It was pretty amazing.
Because I had lost a lot of blood after delivery, I was pretty shaky and weak. I was hoping to be right back on my feet and to feel amazing, but it took until the next day for me to regain my strength. It was amazing though how much easier recovery was with this birth. Not only did I not tear (like I did with Zoey and Abbey), but I felt 80% normal by the next day. After 24 hours, we were able to take Riley home.
So that's Riley's birth story! I feel so proud of myself that I was able to deliver Riley without medication. It was empowering, and an experience I will remember for the rest of my life. I am so grateful for the support I had from Derek and Grace and my midwives and nurses. There was so much love and support throughout the delivery, and being able to follow my own instincts felt pretty amazing.
Would I do it again?
If you had asked me that question a couple days after delivery, I may have said no. But the further I get from the experience, the less I remember the pain, and the more I remember the calm and peaceful feeling of the room and the people there. It was such a sacred experience, and while it was the hardest thing I've ever done, it was also one of the most amazing. So while we are done having kids (3 is enough for me!), if I were to get pregnant again, I think I would deliver naturally.
1 comment:
You are amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed Riley's birth story.
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