Babymania

Recently, I've started watching the show "I didn't know I was pregnant." If you haven't yet seen it, you are truly missing out on quality entertainment. Basically the premise of the show is convincing viewers that they themselves are pregnant without knowing it. The show must be doing wonders for pregnancy test factories, because I was even able to convince my 49 year old mother that she may be pregnant after watching the show for 3 hours straight (which of course she wasn't; but she did worry enough to take a test).

As a young married girl with pregnant friends by the dozen (believe me, I have a stash of pre-emptive baby shower presents hidden under my bed for no one in particular, but there is no doubt in my mind that I'll have to restalk within a couple of months), it is hard not to think about babies all of the time. I spent a total of 3 hours reading the blogs of old friends who I haven't talked to in ages...to sum it up, baby, baby, baby, house, and baby. Those who don't have a baby are pregnant, those who aren't pregnant are trying, those who aren't trying are me. However, I can't help but being paranoid everytime I watch an episode of "I didn't know I was Pregnant" and worry that I am going to plop a baby into the toilet (Which judging by the number of times it happend on the show seems like the way to go in unplanned baby delievering).

So, by popular demand (of myself) here are the top 10 reasons I may be a top candidate for the show "I didn't know I was Pregnant"
10. I crave cheetos all of the time. When we had them at my parents house in Michigan, I ate the entire bag, and licked the plastic wrapper
9. I never know when Aunt Flow is supposed to visit...I just forget to keep track, and I could go months without realizing she skipped out
8. I cry every time I watch the commercial for the Timetravelers Wife...and at the end of the Batchlorette, even though I hadn't watched any other episodes that season
7. My feet are always tired. I just love getting them massaged!
6. I can't seem to get below 170, even though I exercize every day...Is it because of the cheetos, or the imaginary baby growing inside of me?
5. I find I am drawn to the pregnancy tests at the dollar store just to make sure that I am not pregnant...but they are from the dollar store...I can just see myself 8 months from now "But the test said negative!!"
4. Even if I haven't eaten anything salty in days, I can still taste salt...like all the time
3. Everytime my chest bumps into something, it feels like someone just socked me hard.
2. I think about food all tie time. When there isn't food around, I keep thinking about how I can get food...sometimes I will go to Little Ceasars by myself just to get Crazy Bread...and proceed to eat the entire bag...
1. I am not very observant...

HOWEVER, I can say with absolute certainty, that I am not currently pregnant, and I am happy with my decision to hold back a while longer. Lets just hope that I am never one of those ladies who doesn't find out she is pregnant until she is sitting on the toilet and hears a cry comming from below...::shutters::
1.