A lot has been going through my head lately...mostly the want for two different lives at the same time
One part of me wants to be the adventurous world traveler. To abandon all responsibility and travel wherever I want. To buy a backpack and just go. Be spontanious...go where I can find a good deal, stay for a while, and move on when I want. I feel this part of me pulling hard saying "Come on Cami...get out here...you don't want to miss it...you're letting life pass you by. Grab hold!"
The other part of me wants to settle down. Find a nice place to live, and start a family. I want so badly to start a family. It's this deep desire inside that I can't shake. It's the part of me that feels like I have this greater purpose...like I am supposed to start having kids. I feel it over and over, and I feel like I can't stop thinking about it. And more often than not, that is where my mind wanders when I'm not doing anything.
I keep thinking "Travel first...then have kids, because you'll never get the chance if you try it the other way around." But the questions is when? I feel like putting the stipulation of "traveling" before "starting a family" makes it difficult to plan for the future...what if we get so bogged down by our life in Seattle that we never get the chance to get out and travel. And we continue to put off starting a family for something that very well might never happen.
What's worse is that I change my mind at least once a day. One minute I think "Travel! That makes sense! I'm going to do it! I want to meet different people from all over the world, and to step out of my comfort zone. I want to be thrown into something new, and I want to make memories that will last me forever". The next minute I think "I'm not that adventurous...I want to have a family. I want to watch dance recitals, and help with homework, and put bandaids on knees. I want to watch as my kids experience life for the first time, and I am ready to take on that responsibility"
Why can't I just be two people...wouldn't that just make life easier for everyone?
3 comments:
Yes!! Have Kids!!! It's the Spirit telling you my love!:)
I vote for starting a family! It sounds like that is where you are being pulled the most.
It's so interesting because as much as I am LOVING my "world-traveler life" right now, I still miss a lot about home and my friends. Some days I still want to come home and find a boy and finally get married. Some days I just want to come home and go back to school. Some days I just wanna be home watching American Reality TV and eating Little Ceaser's bread sticks. It's the "life is greener on the other side" desire in us all...
You're next blog should be a list of all the places you've seen and cool things you've done... There are tons - I know the story. Trust me, you're living life to the fullest - I've heard the stories. Oh, and by the way... I miss you. A lot.
*muah*
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